blah.
some things make me feel like a big, dumb failure.
I’m all alone at home.
Watching rain and wind and gray outside my front room windows.
It’s kind of nice.
On my other secret blog, I began a list of New Years’ Resolutions. I haven’t made one for a few years. I’m hoping I’ll forget about it, go back later on, and find that I accomplished most, if not everything I’ve included.
I realize that it sounds silly, but I’m pretty sure that I’m beginning to figure out the bigger things I want out of life (family, career, home). I don’t think anyone ever really figures out the smaller things anyway. Granted, I have plenty of time, but there’s not really any question about the fact that I want to be a teacher (professor eventually). I’m really excited to graduate and start subbing in order to earn money for grad school, which I plan to do in California (UC Davis is looking good at this point), and traveling also. As far as studying abroad goes, I really need to find a job this quarter so that I can begin saving, because I’ve found what seems to be the perfect 5-week summer program in Krakow. It is specifically for English students, and I would also be required to take a language class, which would be my main reason for going, as well as to visit my dad (and other family). I want this to take place the summer before my senior year. It keeps throwing me off that I’m supposed to graduate in 3 years instead of 4. This year is already going by so fast, and because of all of the vacations, I still feel like I haven’t moved (which I’m sort of ok with), but at the same time, I have a second home, which is nice. Anyway, there is more to it, but I will end here.
I saw Hank today. He made me tear up again. He told me one of his really good stories. We see things so similarly, heh.
The person who chose my gift yesterday (a sweet girl named Bri) received a box of earl grey tea, a pack of three faux-moleskines, and! the new Bob Dylan xmas cd, along with a note that read, “These are a few of my favorite things. Let’s hope they are universal :)” I bought the cd the other day, and it’s sososo good. Super Tom Waits-y. And good.
I hope I turn out to be as beautiful as Hank is convinced I will be someday.
I wish he would let me take him out just once.
In other news, I’m getting more used to the idea of putting my hair up. It feels much better a lot of the time. I’ve just always been weird about it. I feel this is a new boost in confidence.
To Do List:
-presents, presents, presents (my hands hurt, heh)
-work out
-more presents
-shop for ingredients
-cook
-rachel’s holiday potluck (she’s making us bring an anonymous present for a “white elephant” type activity. my presents are awesome, i’m excited)
